In December 2008, German engineering colossus Siemens settled bribery allegations with U.S. and German authorities for a then-record $1.6 billion — a figure so large it briefly made the concept of corporate shame seem financially quantifiable. The SEC's director of enforcement helpfully clarified that Siemens employees had carried bribes in actual suitcases, which is either charmingly retro or a sign that the compliance department had never heard of wire transfers. The corruption stretched across multiple continents: Greek ministers confirmed receiving payments, Brazil launched price-fixing probes, and 64 individuals eventually faced trial over a telecom contract scandal in Greece alone. Siemens did not stumble into bribery; it industrialised it — treating corruption as a line item rather than a lapse in judgment. The company subsequently received widespread praise for its 'recovery,' which is a bit like applauding an arsonist for eventually buying a fire extinguisher. Independent monitors reviewing the aftermath found Siemens continued ignoring red flags even post-settlement. The suitcases, it seems, were merely rebranded as 'business development tools.'