France has proudly sunk to a new low in the annual global corruption index, proving that when the French commit to something, they really commit. The nation that gave us fine wine and philosophical existentialism has now mastered the art of systematic graft with characteristic Gallic flair.

Transparency International France politely noted that headline-grabbing scandals have 'contributed to the deterioration in the perception of corruption,' which is diplomatic speak for 'your politicians are spectacularly crooked.' The organization's CEO Florent Clouet identified the core problem: 'absolutely no political leadership in the fight against corruption.' This refreshing honesty suggests that French politicians have achieved a rare bipartisan consensus—they all agree that stopping corruption would be terribly inconvenient. One almost admires the efficiency with which they've managed to make corruption as integral to French culture as cheese and complaining about tourists.