Taylor Swift, whose private jet logged more flight hours than most commercial airlines, has a perfectly reasonable explanation for why she shouldn't be held responsible for any of it: she lends the plane out. To other people. Who are also not accountable, presumably. Swift's representatives, responding to her ranking as the number one celebrity private jet polluter, explained to Rolling Stone that the jet is 'loaned out regularly to other individuals' and that attributing most of those trips to Swift is 'blatantly incorrect.' This is a remarkable defence. The jet exists. The fuel burns. The carbon enters the atmosphere with the same indifference regardless of which famous person's legs are inside it. Swift has built an entire brand on parasocial intimacy — she sees you, she gets you, she is just like you — while operating a personal aircraft that produces more emissions in a weekend than most of her fans generate in a year. The solution offered is not 'I will fly less' or even 'I will use a slightly less catastrophic plane.' It is: someone else was sitting in my ecological disaster. Swifties, famously, will accept this explanation. The stratosphere will not.