The United States spent years lobbying to co-host the 2026 World Cup, presumably on the theory that hosting a global tournament requires, at minimum, letting people into the country and paying for things. The US has managed neither. Omar Artan — the 2025 African Referee of the Year, a man whose entire job was to fly to America and officiate football matches — landed in Miami and was promptly turned around by Customs and Border Protection. He would have been the first Somali referee at a World Cup. He is now famous for a different reason. Meanwhile, $625 million in congressionally appropriated security funding for the eleven host cities remains locked inside a Department of Homeland Security that has apparently mislaid its calendar. With four months to kickoff, cities report receiving nothing. DHS has offered no coherent explanation. Congress is furious. The official position of the United States government appears to be that it will host five million visitors, secure twelve stadiums across two time zones, and sort out the paperwork later. The World Cup was supposed to be America's advertisement to the world. It is currently running ahead of schedule.