France, self-described cradle of liberty, enlightenment, and the correctly dressed salad, has sunk to a new low in Transparency International's global corruption index. The timing is exquisite: former President Nicolas Sarkozy spent twenty days in actual prison in October after being convicted of illegally soliciting campaign funds from the late Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi — a man who was himself not known for scrupulous accounting practices. Meanwhile, Marine Le Pen and colleagues from her National Rally party were convicted of embezzling European Parliament funds, a verdict she is currently appealing in the hope that a ban on her running in the 2027 presidential election might be avoided.

The French political establishment has responded to its historic corruption index low with the full force of Gallic philosophical tradition, which is to say: speeches. Left and right have helpfully demonstrated that the corruption problem is bipartisan, with a former centre-right president in prison and a far-right leader in court simultaneously, leaving French voters the intellectually stimulating task of selecting their preferred flavour of malfeasance at the ballot box.

France remains a permanent member of the UN Security Council and a leading voice on global governance standards. This detail is included purely for atmospheric purposes.